Mon Amour..

Pause a while, beloved city. Wait for me to catch up, catch my breath as the time dissolves like smoke in thin air. You disappear behind alleys, across streets of concrete, between yellow taxis and peeling paints of black on walls. You flicker behind old moldy buildings, patched together with postings, windows painted garish and people trudging towards made-believe destinations. Linger closer on nondescript nights when cold hands seek earthen bhars of cha and drink in the squalor of the metropolis and the repeating hum of life. I have walked with you in muted dreams when the street lights have glowed orange and as I stepped on my shadow, my thoughts formed without effort, without meaning, without shape and the dreamscape grew dimmer as I try to hold you back.

You gave me love, moments unreflected, run-of-the-mill poetry written behind stray pages jealously hidden, bruises hidden behind practised smiles, mindless joys, fear and fever, aimless days when the limitless sky was just a tease. I have seen you ignore me as I walked down, a filler of sorts, jostling against hundreds like me. Seen your love when smiles doodle across my face just because. And mixed in the wasting afternoons, sordid with hooting monotony of everyday life, your derision at my mediocrity...

So pause awhile beloved city, pause till I catch up, catch my breath and you take me in your fold, in your arms with your clamor, and your peace, your moody blues or calico days of reeling splendor...

I

In another day, another time, another summer, or some other night when the stars hide the nocturnes of the sky. Another me, but this same you. But now turn your back to me and talk about music, poetry or of the thousands of sunsets you stayed up to see. Talk cliched, talk in jangling verses of the happy, talk without another look at me.

II

Bad girl, dirty dirty girl, what did you do. Look at me, lower your eyes, confess the truth, don't open your mouth. Walk the line, curl in your toe, hold out your hand, do what you are told. Speak your mind, think as I say, don't break free, but go away.